Acting With Anger Causes More Problems Than Good

DeCelle, S. (2016, October 11). When anger separates family. Dr. James G. Johnson. https://drjamesgjohnson.org/anger-separates-family-members/

As I have been studying the NEPEM Model, that is The National Extension Parent Education Model, one of the principles that stood out to me the most was acting in anger. Many people have differing views on how they should discipline their children, and ultimately it is up to the parent. However, the more I have studied about the development of children, the more I am certain of the harm that anger in a household causes to children. 

In the book 10 Basic Principles of Good Parenting, it says, "NEVER DISCIPLINE your child when you are angry. It only increases the chance that you will be excessively harsh, either physically or verbally. (Steinberg, 2005)" When a parent reacts in the heat of the moment, they are likely not thinking of ways that they can teach their child to do something different; they are probably thinking of what the best way to punish them is. When this is a parent's sole focus, their children are not likely to learn to act differently because it's the right thing to do, but rather they will learn to be afraid of their parent. This leads children to continue to do the things they got in trouble for, this time behind their parents' backs. 

When a parent spanks their child, it also teaches their child that hitting others is alright if they do something bad. Studies show that kids who were spanked as children grow up more aggressive and anxious than children who were not. All of this goes back to anger. It is completely normal to feel angry when your child lies to you or disobeys you, but when you take a moment to calm down and clear your head before you discipline, your children are more likely to learn, and you will still have love in your household. 

In the book The Soft-spoken Parent, H. Wallace Goddard has a chapter full of quotes on anger from modern-day prophets. You can access that here: The Soft-Spoken Parent by H. Wallace Goddard | Goodreads

References:

Goddard, H. W. (2012). Prophet’s Counsel About Anger. In The soft-spoken parent: 55 strategies for preventing contention with your children (pp. 20–29). essay, Leatherwood Press.

Steinberg, L. D. (2005). Avoid Harsh Discipline. In The ten basic principles of good parenting. essay, Simon & Schuster Paperbacks.