You Need to Understand Your Children If You Want to Influence Them

 

Pace, R. (2021, March 23). 75 best marriage advice & tips by marriage therapists. Marriage Advice - Expert Marriage Tips & Advice. https://www.marriage.com/advice/relationship/best-marriage-advice/ 

Dr. Haim G. Ginott said "The beginning of wisdom is listening. Listening that is empathic enables parents to hear the feelings that the words try to convey, to hear what children are feeling and experiencing, to hear their point of view and thus understand the essence of their communication. (Ginott et al., 2004)" 

Have you ever felt like someone just doesn't understand you? That is how your child feels when you try to discipline them without listening to them. Chances are, if children don't feel heard and understood, they are going to become bitter and act out. Over the last several weeks, I have learned the importance of building a relationship with your children in order to influence them for good. Imagine you are working for a company, but your boss lives a hundred miles away. How likely are you to willingly follow their orders when they don't know a thing that is going on in the company. 

It is human nature to need to be understood. As a parent, it is so important to listen to your children. Hear them out. Understand why they did the thing they did. Once they know that you're listening and understanding them, a relationship of trust will begin to grow. It is only when they feel heard that they will be influenced for good. 

References:

Ginott, H. G. (2004). Chapter Ten: Lessons to Guide Your Parenting. In A. Ginott & H. W. Goddard (Eds.), Between parent and child. essay, Random House.